shhexycorin's Photos

So I've mocked up the homepage for their awesome new marketplace. What do you think? I think it's awesome.

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What better way to draw a close to our time together than a trip to the North Carolina State County Fair? The perfect venue for a wholesome girl who loves cheap thrills, good cookin' and the best bestial pleasures the South has to offer. My furrowing practice stood me in good stead, i won the Tractor Pull hands down, beating off stiff opposition from the other finallist, Cletus from Chocowinity. beebo bought me this little critter to celebrate my win, I'm still not entirely sure what to do with him yet, so I've brought him to Key West, I'm going to teach him to surf.

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I was mulling over the whole marriage proposal thing last night, Beebo kept trying to persuade me by doing the Carolinian Two-Step he's so proud of (and, to be fair, he is a master of this most carnal of arts). Anyhow, once we were spent, he snuck off back home, as his wont and I was left wringing the sheets out and picking the broken glass up off the floor. Suddenly: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, it felt like something was ripping my cunt into pieces! No, it wasn't another miscarriage, just a spot of crabs left by my recently departed beau. I do love a bit of seafood, and this was such a fucking whopper, it offers culinary opportunities I had only ever dreamed of. But the reality of it is that I can't be going about my daily business with one of these living in my pubes. I think there are a couple more that snuck up my chuff, so I'm going to have to visit Rentokil this morning to get them removed. I think tonight I'll put on a crab barbecue down on Brighton beach, there's enough there to feed the five thousand. Do come down, it'd be great to see you!

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I'm off to the beach for a week, to ogle at boys and drink my liver under the table. So I thought I'd take the chance to say hello to the people who look at my stuff and never comment... I know you're out there! Drop me a line or leave a comment... Or send me cash. Or puppies. Or a house in the south of France, I ain't fussy. Love you long time and I'll see you soon! Kisses, Corin

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*clicks about* *looks cool* *doesn't know what she's doing* *thinks she should be smoking Black Sobranies*

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My favourite tractor had his birthday today, so I hopped onto the Shhexy Jet to go and celebrate with him. We started with four gallons of the finest mojitos known to man, had a delicious Dormouse fondue for dinner and then went on to a couple of discreet clubs for some hardcore whore action. I think I may have given Ice Nine a little too much Rohypnol, because once we left the first brothel, he completely flipped out and started do some bizarre farm-machinery moonwalk. He looked fucking shhexy, obviously, but got some funny looks from passersby, especially when he ran over a couple of kids trying to get a look at his threshing attachment. That man doesn't know his power, really. It was a great night though, we partied until long after the sun came up and queued outisde the nearby church so we could get in for Dawn Mass and confess our very many recent sins. I didn't tell the priest everything though. In some regards, my lips are sealed...

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The creche Pippa's kids go to have just been reading Chuck Palahniuk's Guts as part of the Government's literacy campaign. They knew I was a fan too, so asked me along to direct their dramatic interpretation of the piece for Parents' Day. They're not ones to do things by halves - they cast their pet elephant as the narrator. The kids were playing the contents of the intestine, I nearly wore my fingers to the bone sewing carrot-chunk costumes! With minutes to go, they all piled up the elephant's arse, waiting there for the start of the show.Except no one knew that Nelly was constipated and was utterly incapable of taking a shit. The performance was ruined, the parents disappointed and Shhexy was sent off to Asda to buy a fuck load of prunes.We're still waiting.All in all, not a good day.:(

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I've been going full pelt at the new Castle Corin, lifting, shifting, painting the walls with poo, making friends with the neighbors, getting invitations to their swingers' parties, you know how it is... Busy, busy bee, that's me! As you can imagine, all that physical exertion has given me a massive fucking appetite, so I took my harpoon, got on my shiny new bicycle and headed down to the sea for a spot of fishing. It didn't take me too long to catch enough meat to feed me for the rest of the week! I got 10 of these little bastards, strapped them to my back (still snapping) and got them home. I butchered them according to EU Food Hygiene Regulations and have hung them in the bathroom, so that the meat can mature nicely. That is, of course, assuming I don't eat them all in the next day or so. I'm STARVING! OK, back to the grind! (still no proper internet, why do people put passwords on their wireless networks?)

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When I'm not around, this is the best that beebo can get... That's the price you pay for living in the middle of nowhere, I suppose. Though I'm sure some would describe it as a "feature"...

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Lovely lads they are, they called me yesterday morning, telling me they had a few troubles at home and needed a safe haven so they could avoid the authorities for a while. They were on my doorstep when I got home from work, armed to the back-teeth with wine, flowers and some of their Shhexy's Shhpecial Falafel for dinner (try adding a bit of pancetta to the mix, you'll never look back!). I think they'll be here for a while, it'll be a tight squeeze in my little flat, but somehow it doesn't ever feel cramped in bed, the Hezbollah boys know how to treat a lady!

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I never thought I'd have my holiday romance with a woman, but I'm always up for trying new things.Her name was Isabella. She spotted me coming out of the sea one morning and knew in an instant that she had to have me. And how could I resist? She's a fiery Spanish beauty, with a figure to die for and tits you can lose yourself in for hours. We shared our first kiss over a paella and jug of sangria, we wore the floors out with our flamenco dancing and fisted for hours on the beach in a scene that wouldn't have been out of place in From Here To Eternity.It was heart-breaking to leave her at the airport, but all good things come to an end. And bits of sand keep dropping out of my cunt as a sweet reminder of my lovely Isabella.I don't think I'll meet a woman like her again soon.*sighs*

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And what a shhexy chick she is too! At the age of 97, Lolita Grimshaw is the world's oldest lesbian who, in spite of her advancing years and sagging bits, still sets a glamourous example to the younger members of the sisterhood. You'll never see a hair out of place on Lolita, she's always waxed to the max. And no dungaree or biker jackets either, oh no. Ms Grimshaw is from an age where lesbians knew the value of eyeliner and coy smiles. If I had a hat, I'd raise it to you, Lolita!

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The high-point of the parade's "Carry On" theme was the appearance of Barbara Windsor in a fantabulous float with a giant model of the buxom blonde in with her lady bits discreetly on display.Although the truth is the artist used an entirely different Windsor as his model, that's right, the The Duchess of Cornwall, Camilla Rosemary Mountbatten-Windsor!Apparently Babs told them to fuck right off when asked if she could sit for an afternoon, so they asked old horsey-chops if she'd mind standing in. She's such a trooper, Camilla, always happy to do a favour for a couple of queens.

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I was commissioned to photograph a wedding in Brighton today, another one of those cash in hand jobs that keeps me in glitter and AA batteries. The bride was resplendent with a beard that covered her freshly trimmed groin with the merest hint of modesty. The groom fondled me under the pier, but that's only to be expected form anyone with a pulse. I managed to escape with a couple of gigabytes of XXX end-of-the-pier action, enough cash to keep the bailiff from the door and a slight limp that will last me well until Wednesday. All in all, a most successful day's cunting.

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The man looked genuinely upset, I'd just try to pay him a compliment and say thanks for being such a lubbily-huggle-bunny during our time together and suddenly he gets all aggravated and in my face. "That thread is the only reason I have friends on Flickr," he said "without that, I would be NOTHING." Then he got to his knees... "Please don't tell anyone about this on Flickr, I have a rep to protect." Of course, I would never tell! Remember, kids, beebo wallace is a cunt

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Ooh Matron! The Emergency Services do a wonderful job at Pride every year - providing succour to the middle-aged men having an ecstasy-induced spack-out in the middle of the Wildfruit tent, doling out morning-after pills to the girls who pissed in the wrong place in the bushes and playing fast and loose with the turkey baster in the Lesbian Tea Tent. I snapped these three angels of mercy as they took five minutes off from their duties to savour the sights of the festival. Bless them, they knew exactly who I was (ihink they must be on Flickr!), asked for my autograph and wanted to know if I'd come and visit them at the Geriatric Ward at the County Hospital some time soon. How could I refuse? I was pilled up to the eyeballs and wouldn't have been able to say no whatever you asked me. God bless Nurses, they even said they'd give me one of their uniforms - I do love a bit of starch against my skin. ;)

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Women in Brighton are always looking for environmentally friendly alternatives to the mindless waste of modern life. In other words, they're hippy cunts. But they're hippy cunts with money to spend and I'm not fussy when it comes to cold hard cash. Inspired by the Mooncup, but also mindful of its use of plastic, I decided to try and find an even greener product to swab up the monthly flow. My love of the animal kingdom gave me the perfect answer. For the last few months I have been breeding a particularly placid type of leech/slug hybrid. They don't voraciously suck blood, instead they absorb it through their skin. You shove it up your cunt at the first sign of your period, leave it up there to happily eat its fill. Once the food dries up, the leech will simply plop out into your gusset. The leech will have absorbed enough of the red stuff to survive until the next time you're on the blob. You can just keep him in a little tank, with some leaves to roll around in. Price? A very reasonable £9.99, guaranteed to last at least a year. Almost half the price of a Mooncup and about 100% less disgusting, I'm sure you'll agree. Best viewed LARGE.

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